Again, I invite you to stop and suspend thoughts about right or wrong, and to read this with “I agree,” or “I disagree.”
If you think that you’ve created a new and inventive way to cope with isolation, I get that. Each one of has a need to believe that what we are doing is unique. And yes, your views and your exact approach is certainly unique, but people have been finding ways to survive solitary confinement for millennia (or as long as humans have constructed solitary).
Some people have also unfortunately been cast into an outgroup, or out of any group, because the majority does not like or understand their actions, the color of their skin, or another difference. That is another form of solitary that is not limited to a prison, but is painful in its own way.
Let’s look at some of the patterns:
- Defiance: “I don’t agree with your rules, and I will outwardly show it.” This can in extremes become violence, can be in refusing to shower, refusing to wear a mask, etc. We can refuse to do many things, including keeping ourselves alive. Generally what this behavior says is “I don’t trust you, so why should I follow your leadership.”
- Despair: hopelessness such that you stop trying, because you don’t believe that your actions will make any difference. In extreme cases despair can lead to suicide. But for most people, it is a chronic state of “life will never get better.”
- Be tougher than the others: Loud talk, threats, intimidation. Really this means “I’m scared, but I don’t want you to know that I’m scared.”
- Extort/exploit the others: Opportunists arise to take advantage of the distress. The opportunists might try to strong arm or blackmail, or more covertly manipulate others. This means “I’ve learned that the only way to survive is to hurt others before they hurt me,” or “I’ve learned that the only way to survive is to take from others.”
- Avoid the whole thing: sleeping excessively or drugging yourself to numb the feelings This means “I have not found a helpful way to deal with life, and the best thing I know how to do is to try not to feel anything.”
- Learn Meditation and/or yoga: Some people soul search or learn ways to manage their emotions, or develop a deeper spirituality. This comes from a sense that change might be possible and “I want to learn something new that might help me.”
- Become more religious: It was common in in solitary to see the Chaplain making rounds. People in prison didn’t have one religion. There were as many religions in a small cell block as there might be in the world. Some people wanted clarity and explanations to make sense of their situation and give them hope. And honestly, don’t we all.
We’ll explore 8-14 next time.
